A Parent's Guide to Settling into Pre-school.

“A gift you are from heaven above, a perfect example of God’s precious love.”

Picture this, you are sitting with a gorgeous bundle of joy in your arms, a scene you have probably pictured in your head several times during your pregnancy, and it hits you, I mean it really hits you – I am a parent. I am responsible for this beautiful piece of life in my hands!

Having a baby is a valuable gift by God to parent. The period of carrying them for months in womb and then suddenly carrying them in our lap vanishes the entire pain and strengthens the relations and bonding.

Being a parent is mostly about being full of love, joy, hope and unimaginable delight, even when you’re bone tired. You will laugh more than ever before. All the craziness will soon end – the sleepless nights, the toilet training, and tantrums.

Time will run swiftly and in the blink of an eye your infant will be a toddler and before you know it, even gets ready for school.

Life is for once, but don’t take life too seriously. Remember to relax and have fun as a family enjoying this beautiful gift that you have been blessed with.

Whether you love kids, or have doubts about your parental instincts, or think you’ve got this parental shindig all figured out, you are in for a surprise. Your life is going to change in an unbelievable way!

Firstly!! Every baby is unique, different and special in its own way. Secondly!! Babies don’t come with a manual.

Just remember!!

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about,” – Angela Schwindt.

The start of preschool is a milestone that's often anticipated with great excitement and joy, but also with lots of crying and uncertainty - from both kids and parents!

 The children have spent the first few years learning the rules and routines of their family life and they are completely unfamiliar with the new rules and routines they will encounter at school. A child undergoes separation anxiety, when brought to a new atmosphere and child needs the same acceptance from the new people around. For parents to the main source of separation anxiety is worrying that their child will feel abandoned.

Parenting is going to be a roller-coaster ride!!

Here are the best ways for you and your child to ease the separation anxiety and to successfully start the new adventure -- together and apart!

CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY:

Many parents may see their child have a bad first reaction to preschool and immediately decide to pull him out of the classroom. Parents need to understand that, it denies the child an opportunity to learn how to work through negative feelings and sets a precedent of not having to face problems. Consistency is the key when it comes to making preschool a part of your child's new routine. Simply going together on a regular basis will provide your little one with a strong sense of hope.

Stability and consistency of thoughts of the parent is very important, parents must come up with a feeling such as, "This is best place for your child" or "Bringing your child here is the right decision" to remind you of why being apart is good for both you and your child. Then, keep repeating it as often as you need it!

A child’s mind is like wet cement, easy to pick up on your mood. If you're nervous and anxious when you drop your child off, he/she will likely take on your attitude. Remain calm and be positive, even if you don't feel 100 percent cheerful and happy about the separation. But if your little one does pick up on your worries, just continue to provide him with reassurance. Remind him/her that you will always return and that there are people at school to keep him safe. Always remember that starting preschool is a positive step for both you and your little one.

SHORT GOODBYES:

Keep your goodbyes short and sweet so that your child knows what to expect but doesn't prolong your departure. When you pick him/her up at the end of the day, reinforce the idea that you came back, just like you said you would. This way, each day's drop-off won't feel like you're both starting teary and upsetting goodbyes all over again. The sense of being available always to the child strengthens his/her hope of seeing parents after few hours. This even develops interest in the child for schooling.

UNDERSTANDING THE MOTTO OF SCHOOL:

Schooling is for providing the basic nourishment that is needed by the child. Early years of childhood is very important to create a mark on the minds of child. It even helps the parents and teachers to mind map the hidden potentialities and create a print on the developing minds. Parents are the first teachers of the child. Creating an equal impact and bonding, bringing the same acceptance in the little minds take time. The child should feel the same love balancing the equation of the love of parents. This will help the child to bond and mingle. Once this is established moulding the child and making him/her learn things at school is easy. The early transition is challenging for parent as well as the teacher. Expecting wonders so early from your child and the school is not at all a good idea.

Attend any information sessions and open days which the pre-school centre offers. This will provide you and your child with an introduction to the new environment, allow you both to meet the staff and make a positive start to the transition process.

TEACHER INVOLVEMENT IN THE PROCESS:

Ideally, the child's preschool teacher will be a warm, caring, and experienced individual who can anticipate the needs of the student. But since she is new to you, too, brief her with necessary information that will help her, and your child get to know each other better. Briefing is very important as every child is unique and for a teacher every child is a new chapter in her book of experience. This even makes the transition process smooth and helps the child settle fast. Their eating, sleeping, and toileting patterns are just as important as knowing their favorite colour, what games they like to play, or what songs they like to sing. It also helps to know what techniques the family uses to calm a child down when she/he is feeling upset or anxious, teachers can try and replicate those techniques in the classroom. Be sure to let the teacher know about any medical issues and food allergies. Providing the same treatment as home helps the child to frame picture of the teacher as someone who loves him/her in the same way as his/her parents. It even helps the child to understand that school is like a second home and its fun going.

SENDING A COMFORT OBJECT:

Children are possessive of the smallest object and they love playing and keeping it with them. Have your child bring a little reminder of home to the preschool to ease his separation anxiety and reassure him. If he doesn't have a favorite doll, even a beloved book or a sipper cup filled with his favorite drink or water can do the trick. Comfort objects may seem like small stuff to us, but they can provide a real sense of security to kids in an unfamiliar environment. This is for the basic transition time for settling them to the routine. Reading stories at home regarding preschool help the child to get familiar with his new adventure.

GIVE TIME, NO SUDDEN DISAPPEARING:

In today’s world both parents being working, spending time with the child is really challenging but the transition time is very important wherein the child needs the parent to be next to him/her for a period, till the child gains confidence. The child feels afraid if the parent disappears suddenly. The best way to handle the separation process is to begin by mommy going to school with her child and sitting next to her. She should not interact with her in games and toys, but rather be there as a safety net. Over a period developing a good-bye ritual, this could be anything you and your child decide on, such as a special hug or handshake followed by a "See you later, little dino!" Once you've said your goodbyes, it's best to bolt so that your child doesn't become preoccupied by your presence. Seeing her involved in an activity is a good cue that it's time for you to go.

RESIST SURPRISE VISITS:

I have a baby who I love more than life itself! My daughter is the joy of my life. My son is the apple of my eyes!!

Children are precious. But avoiding over-involvement and over-dependency of the child on the parent is also important. Once you've left your child, resist the temptation to go back and check on her, and don't phone the school every hour. It is extremely helpful for moms to develop a team approach with their child's teacher. This way, mom can feel safe and confident that her child will be well cared for when she is not there. Trust the teacher and trust yourself; have confidence that you made the best decision and chose the best preschool for your child. It might take time for the teacher and child to settle but things assigned needs involvement of both.

AVOID COMPARING YOUR CHILD WITH OTHERS:

Sometimes we can overestimate a young child’s ability to cope with transitions and settle in and happily substitute a group of unfamiliar adults and children for their parents or main care giver. The lure of the toys doesn’t always compensate! The experience can be overwhelming for some young children especially if they have not had experience of another form of care outside of the family.

Don't chastise your child and say, "Krishna doesn't cry when his mom leaves." Honouring your child's process is the best way to make the transition to preschool as smooth as possible. Don't worry, eventually your child will outgrow the separation anxiety. The child who never cries when his parent leaves him may act out the scene repeatedly during play to process his feelings. Another child may need to cry at every separation for a while to work through his feelings. It's okay to keep leaving the child if he keeps crying. A complete and successful transition into school can take months, especially if there are family vacations or breaks from school, when children often regress, or if there are changes happening at home.

As parents you need to understand that, separation anxiety is a healthy and protective emotion. It is the child’s way of saying “You are my safe base and I need to develop trust and confidence in alternate carers.” Recognising that separation anxiety can sometimes cause problems is a good starting point. It means you can prepare for the event and turn it into an adventure, allowing both you and your child to feel stronger and empowered.

You are the safe roots from which your child can branch out and explore the world, grow and learn and become socially and emotionally confident. Getting off to a moral start will help you support your child through this very important period in their lives.