WHO AM I???

 Like all I am born to my parents and people gave me many names... Few called me Durga... Few Lakshmi..... I am a voice!!!

But still Who Am I is a big question going on in my mind....... As I don't have a form!!!

 I am born in a country which is called as Bharat Mata, Mother India, or Bharatamba; She is the national personification of India as a mother goddess. She is an amalgam of all the goddesses of Indian culture and more significantly of goddess Durga. She is usually depicted as a woman clad in a saffron sari holding the Indian national flag, and sometimes accompanied by a lion.

 I belong to a country where as per the Upanishads, there are three hundred thirty million gods and goddess altogether. Precisely speaking a goddess is a female deity in polytheistic religions. Goddesses most often have feminine characteristics that are apotheosize in their pure form. Goddesses have been especially linked with virtues such as beauty, love, motherhood and fertility. The gods have always given huge respect and a place for the goddess to make the people understand in the time coming that, I should be treated well. I indeed play an important role of a wheel by balancing the cart of life. 

In my country, a sacred female figure holds a central place in religious prayer and worship. For example, Shaktism, the worship of the female force that animates the world, is one of the three major sects of Hinduism. Even in Tibetan Buddhism, the highest advancement any person can achieve is to become like the great female Buddhas (e.g. Arya Tara), who are depicted as supreme protectors, fearless and filled with compassion for all beings.

I have many roles in my life to play. I am a  daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and many more. I am an amalgamation of many different position...... My entire life is distributed in sections as.....

1. Infant in cradle: "A wailing infant, first she plays, Unconscious of her future days." 
2. Young girl with doll: "Her girlish pastimes reveal for show the cares which woman's life must know." 
3.   Late teen girl in grownup clothes: "Her ripened beauty all confess And wonder at her loveliness." 
4.  Bride in white dress and veil: "A husband's arms, in hope and pride, "En-clasp her now, a lovely bride." 
5.  Young mother holding baby: "A mother's anxious love and care With toilful heart is hers to share."  
6.  Dressed to go outdoors (i.e. now that she no longer has babies or toddlers in the house, she can now take an interest in matters outside the home — though in a strictly private and individual charitable capacity, of course): "Now to the poor her hands dispense the blessings of benevolence." 
7.  Middle-aged woman (first declining step): "Absorbed in household duties now, The weight of toil contracts her brow." 
8.  In black bonnet and holding handkerchief (suggesting the latter stages of mourning, perhaps her husband has died): "She now resigns all earthbound care And lifts her soul to heaven in prayer." 
9.  Old, wearing spectacles: "At eighty years, her well-stored mind "Imparts its blessings to her kind" 
10.  Bent over, using cane: "The hoary head, us all should bless, Who abound in ways of righteousness." 
11. Sitting in chair, knitting: "The body sinks and wastes away, The spirit cannot know dismay."Vignette under arch: Funeral scene.

I should know everything!!! This is what I am hearing from the time I gained consciousness.... I was secluded in the four walls of the house to live in and learn, under taboos.... Before I could actually learn, I was married to an individual known as male.  

My Status in Rig-Vedic Society:

During the Rig Vedic era in India I enjoyed high status in society. My condition was good. I was provided opportunity to attain high intellectual and spiritual standard. There were many Rishis of my gender during this period. Though monogamy was mostly common, the richer section of the society indulged in polygamy. There was no sati system or early marriage. But from enjoying free and esteemed positions in the Rig-Vedic society, I was  being discriminated against since the Later-Vedic period in education and other rights and facilities. Child marriage, widow burning, the purdah and polygamy further worsened my position.

The epics and Puranas equated my gender with property. Even Buddhism did little for me. Though the Maurya kings often employed me as bodyguards, spies and ‘Stri-adhyaksha mahamatras’, still my status was quite bad. Upper caste of my forms had to accept the purdah. During this period men were polygamous and widow burning was an accepted norm. Arthashastra imposed more stigmas on me as Kautilya dismissed my liberation and I was not free even to go elsewhere without my husband’s permission. I became worse off in the Gupta period. The Smritishastras abused me; Manu dictated that I would be dependent on my father in childhood, on my husband in youth and on my sob in old age. Apart from child marriage and sati, prostitution and devadasi system became widespread.

My Education in Ancient India:

There are some bright exceptions in this dismal picture. My role in Ancient Indian Literature was immense. Ancient India educated me. There were two types of scholars in my gender — the Brahmavadinis, or the one who never married and cultured the Vedas throughout life; and the Sadyodvahas who studied the Vedas till they married. Panini mentioned of me studying Vedas. Katyana called me Upadhyaya or Upadhyayi. Few examples: Ashoka got his daughter, Sanghamitra, inducted into preaching Buddhism. From the Jain texts, we learn about the Kousambi princess, Jayanti, who remained a spinster to study religion and philosophy. Often, Buddhist nuns composed hymns. We did write Sanskrit plays and verses, excelled in music, painting and other fine arts.

My role in Politics, Ancient India:

I often enjoyed prominent roles in politics. Megasthenes mentioned the Pandya women running the administration. The Satavahana queen, “Nayanika ruled the kingdom on behalf of her minor son. So did Prabhavati, daughter of Chandragupta-II, on behalf of the minor Vakataka prince. A little after the Gupta period, queens used to rule in Kashmir, Orissa and Andhra. Princess Vijaybhattarika acted as the provincial ruler under the Chalukya King; Vikramaditya-I. We were provincial and village administrators in the Kannada region. 

Me in modern Indian Society. 

There was a time when I was just the kitchen keeper and the house keeper in the Indian society. That was treated as the only field for my activity. Rearing children, cooking meals for the large joint family, or at best in their spare time doing some tailoring or knitting, but all within the four walls of the house under restrictions, this was considered to be the only way of life. Even the well-to-do families had large houses and right from the grandfather and the grandmother down to the grandchildren, all lived under one roof and were fed at the common kitchen. Those were the times till the first quarter of the twentieth century. 

Gradually I began to get educated, even highly educated, and a stage came when I came out on the social and political field to rub shoulder with the men folk in these fields. In the freedom struggle of India, there are notable names of my gender who took an active part in the different movements and even reached the top. This was the opening up of the new horizon for womanhood in India. 

My Population is almost half of the total population of India. A country or a community cannot be considered civilized where we are not honored.

Indian laws have been made without discrimination against us. As a result we enjoy high position in our society. We today occupy high ranking posts like. I.A.S, I.F.S. We are also in our Defense Services. We participate in various sports and games like football, hockey, cricket, table tennis, lawn tennis and also in athletics. We serve as M.P., M.L.A, governors and ministers. In recent times like Mother Teresa, Indira Gandhi, Vijaylakshmi Pandit, M.S. Subhalakshmi, Lata Mangeskar and the ex-president of India Pratibha Patil have achieved international fame. We have also achieved high fame in the areas of literature, music and acting. More and more are joining the field of science and technology. 

Recently India’s space agency has announced the successful launch of a record-breaking 104 nano satellites into orbit, all on board a single rocket. The Indian Space Research Organization (ISRO) said the milestone launch, from the Sriharikota space center in the country’s south, overtook the 2014 Russian record of 37 satellites in a single launch. We were also a part of it. We made the country proud. In fact there is no sphere of activity in which we are unsuitable or incompetent. We are sensitive yet stronger enough to take responsibilities. 

When I can run a family and give birth to a life form and bear so much of pain then I can indeed handle things and prove that I do have the leadership skills embedded in me from birth and so I was created to be next to a male and guide him through out his life to lead a better society. God Shiva and Goddess Parvati in their Ardhanariswara form taught this to the entire world.

The Harsh reality:

 These lines which society expects me to follow:

Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni

—  From Neetisara.

 Which means- Karyeshu Dasi: works like a servant.
 Karaneshu Mantri : advises like a minister.
 Bhojeshu Mata: feeds like a mother.
 Shayaneshu Ramba : Pleases in bed like the heavenly beauty Rambha.
 Roopeshu Lakshmi : Beautiful like Goddess Lakshmi.
 Kshmayeshu Dharitri : Having patience like Earth.
 Shat dharma yuktah: woman who has this six virtues.
 Kula dharma Patni : good housewife (a married woman who is not employed outside the   home). 

I follow all this as I am created to balance things but  a marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership between the Husband and Wife, forgetting about the involvement of third person let it be the other members of the family. Having said this I also agree that I should thrive to achieve this six fold role to have a happy and successful marriage. But, I am a firm believer of ‘Treat your Husband exactly the same way you want yourself to be treated’. What you give is what you get in return. Give love, respect and care to your Partner and you are sure to get it back from him. 

Even Neetisara has a similar verse, 'Do not do unto others what one would not like others to do unto oneself'. 

I have to look after all this also; it is still, in the Indian Society, treated as my domain. In this way balancing between official duties and the home front presents  me today with a career, enormous problems. Whatever said or done, the Indian society still is a man-dominated society and the wife who is called the ‘better-half, but in practical terms, I remain the ‘worse-half. Today due to financial goals and job requirements, folks have established micro families. It would really be a very good fortune if the husband and wife of such a micro-family can have a caring mother or a mother-in-law to be staying ‘amicably’ with them, adjusting somehow, in the limited accommodation, but ‘amicable’ is the much needed adjective to that living. That alone can, to some extent, minimize the problem of looking after the children as also sharing the household chores. A family thus, designed by all members helping each other and the children to grow as the future of the country, while being taught with good values by their grandparents.

But if that living is not ‘amicable’ then the problem becomes doubly aggravated. The husband or the wife has to remain torn between the dual loyalties and this can lead to an ever tension-rich atmosphere, most uncongenial for all. Disrespect for me arouses, from lakshmi, Iam treated as a daridralakshmi. The sensitive minds of children also receive the shocks of such a tension and when they grow up, would try to avoid staying at home and seek relief among friends. This may lead them astray. So the problems persist and even get aggravated. The values about which we talk to be given to a child, or love the child should expect from the family diminishes. They will learn what ever they come in contact with, and this learning whether it's negative or positive will flow in the society leaving behind the same stains which I am facing even today after so many years of learning and education. 

At home, the husband should learn to share equal burden in running the household. The wife should be treated more like a colleague and a co-partner, the husband to be a co-sharer and not the demanding partner. The kitchen if run jointly would make the meals more pleasurable and more enjoyable. It is even important to forget the fact that a male partner should also avoid the comparisons that he makes with his mother or the past scenarios. Today the situation has changed, things have changed, we need not compare it with others. This will prove the male partner nothing more as a fool, who is busy in trolling his own soul mate before others and threatening his relationship at the cost of his ego.  First thing the male partner should understand that we together are the makers of our own life not the third individual in the society.

 "If male partner can treat his mother and sister  in a well respected and protective way, consider about me who left my house for you, and is doing so much for our family. Plants stop flowering and growing if are kept in a negative atmosphere of quarrel, it is proved by scientists.... then how can the male partner expect me to grow and blush in such an atmosphere, where I am not even cared off". 

There are always possibilities.... all problems can be solved!!!

 The children can be cleaned and bathed by the husband while the wife is preparing the breakfast or the lunch. The men folk have to give up their domineering and demanding role, they should understand that their life style, adequate or lavish whatever it is — is due to the wife’s financial contribution to it. It is not his single effort or his single achievement. This feeling, if it gains ground, would make living a life more pleasurable experience and the children would also learn the same way of life to help them live a happy life, when they get married. 

Not a difficult thing to happen but only if the men folk reorient their thinking on these lines!!!

Change is the necessity of life.... Even roots reorient themselves to reach water and prosper. If the male partner feels it silly, this will lead to a disaster. Understanding between a male and female in a relationship is the need of the hour which leads to a better life and society.

 Then there are problems with the career oriented me at my work places too. There have been cases reported in the papers everyday, of harassment by colleagues or by the superiors.

 Lets now have a look at the darker side. Though the Indian law does not discriminate between men and us, our status in our country today is practically far below the status of men. Me burning for failure to pay dowry as demanded also continues unabated all over India. It is a matter of great shame that such cases are increasing in every year. In our country I as bride is burnt or murdered for non-payment of dowry. The literacy rate  is also lower than that of male persons almost all over India. 

I am killed before I set my feet in the form of female infanticide. My In-laws and husband harasses me for a male child. I am molested.....abused.....raped and stabbed. 

 I am seen as a creature for delight.......

Though my status in India is high, the overall picture of my position in India is not satisfactory. 

I can fight back, I am not weak or diseased.... I am bearing pain, I am yet silent as I  care about my people, It's the mind set which need to change..... 
It's the society that need to change..... 
We all together make the society.....
We are expecting that change to start from home..... 
From the people who live with us.... 

We can do miracles if we are given a chance to fly..... Just let us!!!

And Who Am I????              

I am a Women......... 




Hope that I am respected  and cared everyday irrespective of today being Women's Day!!!

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY TO ALL.....